AUTHOR: Akay
DISCLAIMER: Sarah and David own themselves.
TIMELINE: Set nowish Oct ’04
SUMMARY: Sarah and David bump into each other one night when out for a walk. After this surprise encounter will they continue to deny themselves of a love they’ve denied for years?
PAIRINGS: S/D also some D/J and S/F
RATING: PG for now, NC-17 later on
DEDICATION: To all you S/D believers out there!
DISTRIBUTION: Wtss and DS only
FEEDBACK: I’d love some
AN: I understand that Sarah and David are married to others and respect their choices. I mean them no harm in writing this fic.

Chapter 1


The cool autumn breeze washed over him as he watched the blonde approach the counter. He studied her as she handed over her money in return for the hot coffee. He hoped for a minute that it was her; from behind this woman could easily pull it off. The small sexy frame, the golden hair, and a killer pair of legs. But it was just wishful thinking; there was no way that Sarah would be out this late.

She'd be in bed with her husband, kissing and holding him, hey she was probably even making love to him right this second… and why they hell was David thinking about that?

He had no idea. Back in the good old days she would always do this to him, just appear out of nowhere and drive him crazy without even saying anything or doing anything for that matter. But things were different now; they were both different, so much had happened over the last five and a half years.

So therefore he couldn't think of that, in fact he couldn't think of her, and once again that brought him back to the thought of why was it that she seemed to be occupying the way his mind functioned at this very moment.

The last thing he remembered he was walking out of the small coffee shop, his head down as he sipped at the hot liquid he had purchased, then it hit him. That sweet aroma of vanilla perfume mixed with the strawberry shampoo the blonde that had passed him had obviously applied. He turned instantly and his mind was flooded with thoughts, thoughts of her, of the last time he'd smelt the mixture of those sweet scents so closely.

It was about seventeen months ago. At first he wasn't sure about filming the scene, being so close to her, touching her, kissing her, and then having to walk away, it would only play games with his heart. But it was Sarah, and he would do anything for her, so he did.

He arrived on to the Buffy set that day, played his part, held her, kissed her, and then said goodbye. David had wanted to stay but things weren’t as they were when he had been a regular on her show. Sure the chemistry was there, but so was the fact that they were both married, and the fact that he had a little boy waiting for him at home.

There were times when he thought about her, about that one time he'd kissed her, with no cameras, no one around but the two of them. Neither really remembers who it was that initiated it, it just happened so naturally, and it was different from when they kissed each other on set. This time there was no stopping, no pulling away, this time they got to take things as far as they wanted.

But eventually Sarah did pull away, breathless at that, and yet unable to say anything to him, David felt much the same. It had been right after they shot ‘I will remember you.’ So damn long ago now, yet still it was a thought that crossed his mind, sometimes even when it wasn't welcomed.

Even now as he stood there, waiting for the woman that had caught his eye to turn, and show him that it wasn't her. The one woman that still had an affect on him, and one he didn't really care to admit to. David couldn’t push that thought away, and he knew that was wrong.

After all he was married now, with a child, a child he loved, a child that he once wished was Sarah's. But Jaden wasn't, and that wasn't his fault. He loved his son so much, and there was no way that he would do anything to jeopardize his chances of being there for him, and watching him grow. Because in all honesty if he were to give in and follow Sarah home, if it was even her, and... What the hell was he thinking? It wasn't even her, and for that matter if it was, so what? She was an old friend nothing more; he'd buried those feelings so long ago. Suppressed them so far within himself that now there was no way he would ever let them out. Glancing in her direction once more, David had to tell himself that it was so, that he didn’t still want her.

This time the woman turned, and David couldn't hide the smile that broke out on his face. “Sarah.” he whispered to himself, for goodness sake there was even something about her name, and something about the way she said his, there was just something so indescribable about this woman.

Returning her purse to her soft brown leather handbag, Sarah made her way out of the little coffee shop not really watching where she was going.

Thinking twice David stepped back outside and leant against the wall, thinking it better off if she weren't to notice him. But when Sarah walked out and straight past him, too focused on closing her handbag and sipping her coffee at the same time, that same scent of vanilla mixed with strawberries brushed past his nostrils and he couldn't refrain from speaking.

“Sarah.” He smiled, pushing himself off the wall and slowly walking towards her.

Sarah paused just looking at him, taking him in, God he looked good. Wait, no he didn't, he looked terrible, wearing a pair of blue jeans a simple white cotton shirt and his hair, she always loved his hair, no wait his eyes she loved them too, and yeah he just looked terrible… who the hell was she kidding?

“David.” she finally said, in a soft whisper, not realizing the affect it had on him. Closing her eyes and shaking her head thinking that she was just seeing things and he wasn't really there Sarah opened them again and looked over at him. The realization hit her, and she couldn't stop the wide grin that tugged at her lips. “David.” she exclaimed and this time carefully threw her slender arms around him, making sure not to get her coffee all over the man.

David returned her hug, pulling her close, breathing her in, that scent, the one he loved, for one second he didn't care about all the things that stood between them, meaning that he didn't care about everything he had just told himself as he watched her at the counter in the coffee shop, all he cared about was this one second, holding her, as though it was allowed. Holding her as though she were his.

Chapter 2


‘Let go, let go, let go.’ David kept telling himself, yet it seemed to be one of those things that were easier said than done. He also kept thinking that there was no way that he was really standing there, out the front of a small coffee shop, holding her. He hadn't seen her in so long, and she still looked... breathtaking he noted as she pulled away readjusting her handbag in the process.

Sarah stared on still unable to believe that he was really there, David the guy she hadn't seen in what felt like forever, was really standing there merely a meter away. It was funny how not until now had she realized just how much she’d missed him. Funny yet at the same time heartbreaking as she recalled the reasons why they'd grown so far apart.

After that kiss, the one they had been fighting for years, things became extremely awkward. At the time David had still been married to his ex wife, and as tempting as the thought of being with Sarah had been, he couldn't bring himself to hurt Ingrid, and then of course there were his beliefs.

Then the last straw, which was the way that he took the news of her new found love for her now husband Freddie. David was clearly upset that she hadn't waited, even though he never gave her any indication that he was about to leave his wife as it was. But still he was upset, maybe the man had a right to be, but how was Sarah to know when he never said anything after their kiss. He never told her what he wanted.

So they left things at that, pretending nothing had happened, and on every other occasion after that, where they were in a room together, their feelings weren't addressed. It wasn't that they weren't there; they were just buried so deep down that bringing them out didn't seem like an option.

And now here they were, together, and to say things weren't different would be a lie. The tension in the air between them was so thick that to cut through it even a knife wouldn't work, and axe maybe, but not a knife.

What happened to the day when things were simple? Where they just stuck to denying their true feelings because it was what they had to do. Now it wasn't so much her feelings she was worried about, because she was married, and she loved Freddie, right?

Blinking the thoughts away Sarah came to the conclusion that's how things were between them, nothing mattered but David... no Freddie, she meant Freddie.

Oh God why was this so hard? They were friends, that was all, so why make a big deal and have a mental battle over something that wasn't even there? Deciding that the best way to push her crazy thoughts away was to actually talk, she did just that.

“How have you been?” She asked with a smile on her lips, see talking was easy.

“Good... you?” He returned.

“Good.” she said her smile growing brighter by the second, he still had it that was for sure, no matter what, David always knew just how to make her pearly whites appear.

“Glad to hear it.” he added, mentally slapping himself across the forehead for such a lame remark.

“Yeah.” Sarah replied, that tension turning into extreme awkwardness.

David only nodded, trying as hard as he could to think of something to say and stop her from walking away. If only he could think a little faster.

“Well it was good seeing you again.” Really good, so good that now she'd walk the rest of the way home with a smile plastered on her face.

“You too.” and in a flash she was gone, walking out of his life, when only a minutes with her presence had brought so much into it.

Why were things like this between them? They hadn't said barely anything to each other and now that was it, the pair would most probably never cross paths again. Something inside, deep down where those buried feelings were residing told David that he didn't want that to happen, and before he knew what was going on, his legs started moving and he'd caught up to Sarah.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted him, and fought the urge to smile even brighter than she already was, Sarah didn't really understand why but she knew she wanted him around, at least for a little longer. Besides it’s not like they were doing anything wrong, just walking like friends do.

After a minute of strolling along beside her, silence raining down between them, David spoke up, knowing that they couldn't just keep walking without an explanation.

“I thought I could walk you home, you know catch up over coffee.” He smiled raising his cup to indicate their beverages.

Sarah smiled, liking the idea very much. “Sure.” she whispered in that same tone she used whenever uttering his name.

The pair continued their walk, but this time not in silence, instead they spoke of old times and of course the new happenings in their lives. David told her of both his career and personal details, sharing with her the joy that was his son, down to the first time Jaden called him dad, but references to Jamie were kept to a minimum. For that he had no answer, he loved his wife; he really did, but around Sarah as guilty as it made him feel she didn't seem so important.

Sarah herself went on to tell him of the latest happenings in her own life. She was usually one to keep her private life just that, private, but with David it was a different story. She told him about her wedding, and about her life with Freddie, yet not once throughout their conversation did she mention happiness, not that David seemed to pick up on that. Instead he assumed that everything was just peachy, as Sarah did when it came to his marriage.

In all honesty neither really noticed that things in their own lives were anything but perfect... that was until tonight.

Strange that their past could have such an affect.

Chapter 3


-December 25, 2004-

On Christmas day as his family gathered around the tree and started unravelling their gifts, David watched his son's face light up with glee, and he knew then that he had made the right decision. That decision was not kissing Sarah.

Thinking back to two and a half months ago he remembered having the chance. There she was, but a meter away, saying her goodbye as she slid the key to her home into the lock. Before pushing it open she stood there, waiting for him to say or do whatever it was that he wanted to.

David remembered that in that second all he wanted was to cover her lips with his own, to tell her she was beautiful and that more than anything he wanted to come inside for more 'coffee'. But when he heard her husband call out, asking if it was her at the door, he refrained. Stepping away and walking off into the night.

Another thing he remembered was Sarah leaving the front door to her home, keys still wedged inside the lock as she chased after him, running down the paved drive.

When he'd heard her heels hitting the rough pavement he turned almost instantly, as if awaiting her to throw her arms around him and kiss him. It didn't happen like that though; instead she pulled a pen and paper out of her purse and scribbled down her new cell number. Then she scurried off, rushing back to her husband.

David had stood there for the next five minutes not knowing what to do, he knew that he was due home, but there was Sarah, her home which she was inside but a few meters away. All he could think was what if their chance meeting tonight was for more than just catching up with an old friend? What if tonight he had just passed up the chance to take things that one step further, a step that he had never allowed himself all those years ago, because they were friends?

He shook the thoughts away as he unfolded the paper within his hands, and read it back to himself. Beneath her number it read ‘I've missed this’

Staring blankly at the paper for a few brief seconds David knew exactly what it was that she was trying to say.

Talking, joking, just getting on as they used to on set, that's what tonight was, a night that brought so much of the past rushing back to them, most importantly it showed them just how valuable their friendship was. David understood that was what Sarah was trying to get across. That was why he placed the piece of paper in his pocket, making a mental note to never lose contact with her.

As he turned his eyes back towards her house, he did so with a smile on his face. Then he saw her, standing there at the front window, to others it would have appeared as though she were drawing the curtains shut, but David knew better, as she stood there returning his smile before walking away.

His heart leapt in his chest in that moment, and the grown man stumbled backwards, retreating, realizing in that second that she was so much more than just a friend, she always had been. That alone scared him, that made him run.

“David.” He heard someone call his name, snapping out of his thoughts he turned to see his mother standing there. “What's on your mind?” Patti asked noticing that her son seemed a little distanced.

“Nothing.” He whispered, forcing thoughts of her away as a smile graced his lips while he watched his young son play with his many new toys.

**********

Christmas Day Sarah just couldn't seem to put her heart into any of the festivities, of late celebrating seemed to be one of the furthest things on her mind. It was strange that it took a day like this to make her think of him.

Two and a half months had passed her by since that night, a night that seemed to have changed her, and in ways she couldn't even describe. They spoke often after that night, but never caught up, as their topic of conversation started leaning towards the dangerous side.

Things were brought up, like a kiss they had shared years ago, and love they thought was never returned, and then the question of what if?

Sarah told David that they couldn't go there, that too much had happened in both of their lives and to even think it was taking a step back. Something neither of them could afford to do.

So in mid November, as she sat out on her balcony, her cell close to her ear, she listened to his voice once more, before uttering the word “Goodbye.”

David had whispered it back just before she'd terminated the call, and that night she cried, hating the fact that she had just lost her best friend all over again.

The odd thing was that until tonight, Sarah had thought she'd repressed it all, and concentrated on nothing but her love for her husband, how wrong she was. But this wasn't right, her feelings for David, they were forbidden, and she knew that she would do everything it took to fight them.

There was no way she could this to the man she had married. Freddie was there for her, he loved her, and he supported her, even if he had distanced himself from her as of late.

For one second the thought crossed Sarah's mind that possibly it was her promising film career and the success of her latest film The Grudge that had pushed him away, but immediately she had dismissed it, there was no way that Freddie would ever be like that, or would he?

**********

-December 31, 2004-

On new years eve Sarah had ventured out on the town with a few of her closest friends, she had to admit that she had been a little disappointed with her husband when she'd begged and pleaded with him to come out with her. Instead Freddie had made plans of his own, opting for spending time with his close friends rather than his wife.

It had hurt her feelings but Sarah tolerated it, anything to keep him happy, even though as of late he seemed anything but. For a moment she wondered, was this it? Was the rest of her married life going to be like this, always wondering what was on his mind and questioning whether she had done something to upset him?

Deciding that a dark night club wasn't the place to be thinking about it, Sarah put a smile on her face and reminded herself that tonight was about fun, and fun only.

Searching for her friends she spotted them on the dance floor, congregating around the DJ, screaming their song requests and eager for the next hour to pass by so they could begin the countdown for the New Year.

A new year.

That was something that shocked her, how could the last twelve months have flown by so fast? And did she have any new year’s resolutions; there were a few things that came to mind. Focusing on her film career being one, making sure that she was happy in her marriage, the same applying to Freddie, and the other would have to be the one she wasn't allowed.

Making time for old friends.

For Sarah there was only one old friend on her mind, and that would have to be the one that she had pushed away just over a month ago. Since Christmas day when he had returned to her thoughts the blonde found herself wondering if she had made the right decision, as far as her marriage was concerned David not being around was a good thing, but as for her happiness, well... she wasn't quite sure.

“Beer.” She heard someone shout to the bartender, someone that had just taken the stool next to hers.

Snapping out of her musings Sarah realized that she in fact recognized the voice, the only thing was, it wasn't Freddie, turning then to see that her ears hadn’t been deceiving her she simply uttered his name.

“David.”

TBC